I started gaining weight at age 9 and learned at a young age that food could be a huge source of comfort, companionship and entertainment, reliably, any time I desired. My weight climbed steadily through my teen years through binge-eating, crash dieting and secretive night-eating. My weight sky-rocketed during pregnancy in 1997, then again when I went back to full-time college while juggling family life. I retreated further and further into my body and away from real life experiences and in 2004 my weight finally peaked at 405 pounds.

A compliment from a classmate (pictured here with me on the left) snapped me out of my fog of self-loathing one day, and lit a small flame of belief in my soul, that I was lovable, knowable, and valid. I began taking care of my appearance, venturing into more friendships and eventually, starting on a path to a healthier weight. I was seen, acknowledged and given life that day. That one compliment changed the course of my life forever.

Losing a small amount of weight gave me momentum to make more changes, which led to more weight loss over the period of several years. Eventually my confidence and self-worth grew enough that I was able to stand up to my abusive and controlling husband. I ventured out on my own for the first time in 2010, relying on my new belief that I was capable of doing hard things and worthy of goodness in my life.

After losing over 100 pounds, establishing a new life for myself and my son, I was ready to address my weight in a serious way. I had bariatric surgery, a vertical sleeve gastrectomy, in 2011 to help me lose another 100 pounds and finally leave the ‘obese’ category forever.

Once under 200 pounds in 2012, I started the work of keeping the weight off, getting fitter, leaner and continuing the work of losing a few pounds every year to continue to get healthier and more capable of harder and more interesting physical endeavors.

I have used trial and error, falling down and then standing up again, over and over again as my strategy for continued improvement and weight maintenance. There has been no one solution, there has been no one diet or eating style that has been the kicker. I have stayed willing to reassess, adjust and start over as many times as necessary to reach my goals. The result is a weight loss of 40 pounds in 8 years. Slow, steady, sometimes stagnant, but going backwards for any long period of time. I have remained unwilling to go back to a life of obesity.

In late 2018 I learned how to finally take control of my binge-eating forever and 2019 was a year of hitting my weight loss goal of 250 pounds lost, ending the loud voices of shame over my emotional eating.

My weight loss journey is one of 15 years and counting. I will never grow complacent. I live the life of a fit and healthy person and I will never go back.

My goal is to shine a light on the path I have traveled, to guide and encourage those on the path with me who need a word, a tip, a hand, a smile, a cheer. I am here to make my experience count for more than just my body and my life. I am here to ask you to begin. Make today Day 1. And tomorrow too.